A lot of people are so focused on being impressive that they forget to actually engage. They talk at people, not with them. What ends up happening is that the person you just met might nod politely and then forget the entire conversation five minutes later. The best way to build any kind of connection is to be genuinely curious. Maybe ask something that doesn’t feel like a formality. Follow up on something they just said and let the conversation shift from you or your pitch to a more mutual exchange.
People like to talk about themselves and most people, especially those who listen to pitches every day, don’t often feel like others are truly present when they speak to them. They don’t get asked thoughtful questions because people are either usually too focused on themselves or their “perfect” pitches. Take advantage of this knowledge and try to actually listen when they speak and respond in the moment. Actively listening removes the pressure from you to try to come up with clever follow-up questions during these exchanges. If they mention a challenge or something they are building, ask them how it’s going. If they reference something outside of work, acknowledge it. If you can offer that, even briefly, they will remember you. And the reason they will remember is not because you were the most fascinating person in the room. They will remember because you were one of the few who genuinely cared to listen and ask.
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